A CARERS LIFE
The reason I haven’t been able to write any blogs is that I have been looking after my husband who has developed dementia or Altheimer’s. Suddenly my life is no longer my own and I am always taking him shopping, driving him to appointments and organizing his finances and his life. Trying to make time for myself and to do my own thing is difficult. I have had a pair of earrings that were a Christmas present, and I need to take them to a jeweler to alter the way they fit into my ear as it is impossible to put them through my piercing. I still haven’t been to the jewelers, and it is now May!
But never mind that it is more difficult to watch a man who is intelligent and was an academic lose his grip on reality. My husband is cleverer than me. I remember when I was studying for my degree which I did as a mature student, and we had a semester studying philosophy. I was struggling to understand it as it all seemed like gobbledygook to me. He found a book from when he did his degree and we poured over this book and gradually with his help it all began to make sense. I remember that I had to write an essay and when it was marked, I got an A star and a comment “well-constructed and easy to understand.” I think it was something to do with science and philosophy and I must see if I can find it in the depths of my filing cabinet as it was a triumph!
Denis gets very cross and annoyed with himself when he forgets or mislays things. Luckily, I am a very level-headed and serene person and manage to calm him down. Today when we went shopping, he forgot to get milk and hamburger buns and he said, “I’m such an idiot so I must be punished and go without milk and burger buns. I told him that he had to be kind to himself, and it wasn’t his fault that he was losing his memory, it was because he had an illness. I believe that I am kindhearted and compassionate and, on the way, back from the Town hall where we had gone to get visitors parking permits for his birthday party, I made a detour to the local Sainsburys and bought the items that he had forgotten.
Yes, amongst all the other tasks I am doing caring for Denis, I am trying to arrange a birthday party on 26th May for his 85th birthday. His garden has been landscaped as it was a jungle, so we are hoping to have a barbeque in the garden.
There is a saying “The sun shines on the righteous” but there is also another saying, “The devil takes care of his own” so I hope that whoever is looking out for Denis whether they be beatific or fiendish please can they make sure that the sun shines for his party!